Thriving: flourishing, growing, developing, progressing, going strong
Thriving Doesn’t Start Only When Struggle Ends
After surviving cardiac arrest, my life was turned upside down, but I didn’t even realize it. I was in a medically induced coma for days afterward. When they brought me out of the coma, it was Saturday afternoon. I was told what happened. I didn’t understand at all the impact of it, but I thought I did. Out of fairness to me, I did just wake from a coma. I thought it was still Thursday around noon. After a couple of minutes, I said, “I need to be in New York tomorrow for work. I think my flight is at noon.”
"Today is the day I’m going to crush it.”
Except I couldn’t. I didn’t.
That’s when my family gently told me that Friday had come and gone days before, and that everything was going to be ok. Everything would eventually be ok, but not in the slightest way I imagined.
I assumed, after a short recovery, I’d get back to business as usual. I’d just push through my many new health challenges and be back to normal in no time, whatever normal was. I used to work 70 hours per week. I was easily able to do it, and I loved it. After cardiac arrest, I told myself I’d cut that down to 40 hours.
I had no idea that working 40 hours per week wasn’t in the cards. Between medical appointments, therapies and crushing fatigue, working 40 hours per week was more of a fantasy. Yet, I’d wake up every day and tell myself, “Today is the day I’m going to crush it.” Except I couldn’t. I didn’t.
Did that feel like thriving? Just the opposite.
Thriving is not static. It suggests growth in progress. It’s not the result of struggle, but the process of getting there.
Thriving is not Coasting
A few years ago, I was headed to an appointment at Cleveland Clinic. Road construction sent me on a detour, and I passed this abandoned building, shown below. It wasn’t just one building, but more of an industrial complex. It looked like an old factory, but I wasn’t sure at the time. In more modern times, it has served as a near-endless canvas for graffiti artists.
I recently learned that the abandoned complex is the former Westinghouse Electric Corp. manufacturing plant, best known for its Lighting Division. When it was open, it was a thriving neighborhood, and people would walk to their jobs at the plant. The building opened in the late 1800s.
Westinghouse closed it in 1979.
Do you know what’s across the street from this abandoned complex? Homes. Not just a few homes, an entire neighborhood.
Since then, generations of people in that neighborhood have had to look at these decaying buildings. No one would call this thriving. You might assume that anyone living here is not thriving. That would be true if your definition of thriving meant that all areas of life are going well, you are living without adversity of any kind, and everything you see is beautiful. That sounds wonderful, but that’s not the essence of thriving.
Thriving Implies an Obstacle
When life is going well, it certainly feels like thriving. Your workplace may be without conflicts. Home life has been smoother than usual. You might have a little more money in the bank than before. Maybe you just bought a new car you love, and you can easily afford it. There is little to no struggle. We label that as thriving.
You may be experiencing those good things, and I hope you do. We all need those times. However, if thriving depends on external circumstances to be like the calm waters of a lake, we will have anything but a thriving life. Coasting through life, without struggle, without obstacles, and without the chance to overcome becomes a shallow life.
I know, when you struggle a lot, sometimes a shallow life sounds pretty appealing.
You and I can thrive regardless of external circumstances. In fact, we must. For most of us, we need to grow and flourish in our heart, mind, and soul before we enjoy the positive change in external circumstances. Our world is full of success stories—people who fought against all odds, with no money, and became wildly successful. People living in upscale neighborhoods often have more powerful connections, resources and even opportunities, but your address doesn’t guarantee success.
Prospering without Pushing
Nowhere in life do we really see thriving without struggling. Ok, hardly anywhere. I know, famous billionaires gain $20 million in interest by doing nothing. We call that thriving. It can be, but again, it’s missing the obstacle.
Imagine this: an 18-year-old was handed $20 million, and then turned that into $21 million in one year. Nobody would say, “Wow, he’s really thriving.” Why? Because almost anybody can do that. Thriving carries with it an obstacle to be overcome.
I know someone who was homeless and an addict. They got their life together, worked to get an entry-level job, and eventually an excellent job. Now that person owns their own home and car. They were thriving in the process, overcoming roadblocks and disappointments along the way. When a college student with ADHD gets a 4.0, that’s thriving. When an overweight person loses 35 pounds, they are thriving on their journey. We often don’t acknowledge the struggle and endurance it takes to thrive. Truth be told, none of us want any part of that.
Thriving doesn’t mean you are already massively wealthy, the perfect weight, have no learning challenges.
Development Over Decay
While I recently learned about the abandoned Westinghouse manufacturing plant, Cleveland locals have known about it for decades. Now, they are doing something about it. New development is planned to turn 350 acres into an area for new manufacturing businesses, parks, and public trails.
Apparently, there is so much debris, it might take $80 to $100 million just to get it ready to build anything. Two years from now, it still won’t look like a thriving area. We’re too quick to look for the result. If the current state of anything looks less than amazing, we discredit the process. Clearing acres of debris that accumulated over decades doesn’t look like much, but it’s part of the process. If there is forward progress, that’s the essence of thriving.
What Does Victory Look Like Now?
I’m thankful to have a really great medical team. I’ve had to learn and redefine successes and victories. If all I have the energy for on a particular day is three hours of work, and I work those three hours with all I’ve got, that’s success. If I previously struggled to figure out something technical and I finally solved it, that’s a victory. It’s a victory, even when it might have taken me three times longer than it did before my cardiac arrest that left me with a brain injury.
I no longer measure everyday victories by what I used to do.
I measure victories by what I can do, what I think I can do, and how far past those I’ve come.
I’ve got obstacles, but I’m thriving. How about you?
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