Rewire Your Brain Series: Endless Possibilities

Fire Together

There’s a saying and principle in the worlds of neurology and psychology: Neurons that fire together, wire together.

Two, Please

Here’s what that looked like in my own life, before I ever learned the word neuron. Decades ago, I’d put two heaping tablespoons of sugar in my coffee, every time. Yes, tablespoons. It was a habit. In my family, kids were introduced to coffee with milk at a young age. Of course, it came with sugar. I was probably eight when I started drinking coffee at family dinners, and I know many people who started drinking coffee as children. I have no idea why adults would caffeinate children and then be shocked by their behavior.

For me, coffee and sugar fired together. Eventually, they became wired together. So the habit formed, and somehow grew into two tablespoons of sugar in every cup of coffee. It’s surprising I didn’t get a tattoo that said, “Coffee + Sugar. True Love Forever.”

It’s not just a bad habit. Those behaviors became wired together, just like holding your toothbrush in your right hand is hardly an option. You brush your teeth with your right hand because your right hand and your toothbrush have fired together for decades. I didn’t forget the lefties. More on that later.

We have neurons that fire together all day long—constantly. Are you a loyal Starbucks follower? I know some people who get their daily dose of caffeine there nearly every day. Driving by a Starbucks, one action, and getting coffee, the other action, are two things that fire together. They become wired together. When a Starbucks fan drives by a location without getting coffee, they feel off, even sad. It just seems like the right thing to do. It sounds so shallow, I know.

We all have morning routines and when those routines are broken, it feels like the day started poorly. I eat breakfast for numerous reasons, health issues aside. Occasionally, I need to fast before getting bloodwork. Those times I need to skip breakfast make for a rough day. Yes, I’m hungry. Yes, I need caffeine. To compound matters, my routine gets broken and the interruption to my routine can feel worse than the lack of caffeine.

Our routines are wired, and when we break them, it feels uncomfortable.

Let’s bring it closer to home. Some people get in their car ready for a fight. Everyone says the road is full of horrible drivers. Interestingly, none of us consider ourselves one of them. We’ve all had people cut in front of us, only to drive slow as a snail, oblivious to the world around them.

Some people get on the road, middle finger ready to flip on short notice. That readiness comes from years of brain neurons firing together: I get offended on the road, I show others my middle finger. Do that enough times, and those two behaviors, being offended and the middle finger response, become wired together. Do you think I’m actually one of those middle finger users? Truthfully, when I was young, I was. It’s too dangerous these days, but more importantly, I won’t allow those experiences to rob me of my joy.

Wire Together

We go through life without thinking too often. Some habits are good, like taking the short way home, using efficient ways to clean, or following the same routine each morning at work.

On the other hand, we all have things we want or need to change. We won’t see that change unless we start breaking old wires and creating new things that fire together.

Equally, we wish some other people would change. Did you ever work with someone who, upon hearing a new idea, always responds with, “I’d love to do that, but we can’t because…” The reason doesn’t matter. That person has had enough experiences where a new idea and a bad result fired together. Now, those are wired together. It’s on them to have worked through being open to new ideas, but they haven’t done that work. To them, new ideas are bad, and the automatic response is, “I’d love to do that, but we can’t because…”

They aren’t having a bad day. They are wired that way.

I think about those times I’ve said to that person, “You wouldn’t love to, and you didn’t even think it over. You’re wired to be closed-minded, and you’re crushing great ideas that could bring positive change.” Ok, I’ve never said that, I’ve just thought about it and chose to hold myself back. Diplomacy sometimes works.

Roads Closed

After I survived cardiac arrest and anoxic brain injury, I struggled with numerous symptoms I didn’t understand or know how to manage. When I realized I wasn’t bouncing back to my old life, I kept pressing for help until I was referred to a neurologist.

On my first visit, I listed my numerous symptoms. One seemed to have no connection to the other, but they did. Dizziness, communication and memory issues, fatigue and unwanted muscle movements… this was all new to me. That’s when my neurologist told me that some “roads” my brain previously took to help me function were now closed. They would never reopen. That was bad news.

The good news, however difficult to hear, was that I could build new roads, or neural pathways. Not only could I do that, I had to do so if I wanted to function again. Building new pathways is hard, frustrating work. Did I mention how hard it can be?

Slide to the Left

Early on, I found myself dropping things regularly. I didn’t realize I had an issue until I noticed it was a daily pattern. I dropped my Apple Watch on ceramic tile and broke the glass. Walking from one room to the next, I’d spill my coffee. My phone ended up on the pavement more times than I could count. At dinner, I’d reach for my glass and either miss it entirely or knock it over. I’d get a glass out of the cupboard, turn, and drop it on the floor. I’ve cleaned the floor more times than parents of toddlers.

In each of those instances, I was using my right hand. Why my right hand? Because I’m right-handed. So part of my therapy is resistance training and various therapies for my hands. At the same time, I’ve had to learn how to use my left hand when handling fragile things. Thank you, left hand. Here’s some silver lining: I’m ambidextrous now. I use both hands equally well… or equally poorly.

Everyone Can Build New Roads

Just about all neurological therapy I’ve had would be good for anyone. It’s critical for me, but the exercises and challenges I’ve been given would help your brain, too. Building new pathways helps you grow, gain new perspective, solve problems better, and strengthens your brain.

Live your life the same old way long enough, and you become negative, have difficulty solving problems, or seeing a situation from a different perspective. Making new pathways opens the door to more creative ideas.

EASY TO GET STARTED

You may have heard of this simple task that creates a new neural pathway. Brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. Easy enough, until you jam a toothbrush into your gums repeatedly. Why would anyone bother with this? It’s scientific, and it literally changes your brain so it doesn’t get stuck living the same old way.

A Word of Caution: I value persistence. I’ve learned that if I’m tired, moody, or have hurt myself, it’s not the time to keep brushing my teeth with left hand. What would be a benefit works against you. That is not the time to let your inner coach shout, “Stop screwing up!”

A Wire Here. A Wire There.

It’s not realistic or healthy to think you can rewire major areas of your life overnight. Just like building new roads in your city seems to take forever, creating new neural pathways in your brain doesn’t happen overnight. I believe in being intentional, and starting small.

As an adult, I knew two heaping tablespoons of sugar in my coffee wasn’t healthy. I started reducing that, little by little, to two level tablespoons. Then I moved to two heaping teaspoons. I kept reducing the sugar until I was down to a pinch. Eventually, I wasn’t adding sugar to my coffee.

It took a year. Rather, I took a year. Today, I can’t imagine adding sugar to my coffee.

What’s the sugar in your coffee that needs to be rewired?